The Human Edge at Work | By Padmini Kashyap
Hyderabad, Oct 2026 : Every organisation has that one person who speaks brilliantly in meetings. Polished slides, confident delivery, perfect vocabulary. And yet, when the meeting ends, nothing moves. People nod, then go back to doing what they were doing before.
Across the table sits someone who speaks less, perhaps even hesitantly. But when they say something, people act on it.
The difference between the two is not communication skill. It is connection.
I had to train my in-house BD team to establish a connect with the customer within the first 3minutes and garner respect to have a meaningful conversation.
In another instance I trained a group of sales persons from a jewellery showroom. What do most sales people do, stand there and wait for the customer to approach and then they start by asking “what are you looking for”?Honestly, at that very instance the showroom has lost the interest of the customer. I would be happy to hear your thoughts or your experiences at any retail outlet that you may have visited. The pleasant / unpleasant experience.
Communication is about you. Connection is about them
Most communication training focuses on the speaker: voice modulation, body language, structuring a presentation. Of course these matter, but they miss the bigger point. Communication succeeds only when it lands in someone else's mind, and people do not act on information alone. They act when they feel heard and understood.
When we prepare to speak, we usually ask, "What do I want to say?" People who connect ask a different question: "What does this person need to hear, and what are they worried about?"
Three habits of people who connect
a)They start with the listener's concern, not their own content.
A manager announcing a new process can begin with the process, or with the question every team member is silently asking: "What does this mean for my workload?" The second approach earns attention in the first thirty seconds.
In my earlier example of training the BD team, the disconnect was that they would start their conversation by announcing who they are and the reason of their call and what they have to offer. Did this beginning encourage sales? Obviously, no. The nature of sales was selling analytical instruments used in laboratories.
The first 3 min are always crucial in a telephonic discussion. The training program was focussed on sales training with a bit of transactional analysis. This way the BD team were more confident and also started establishing a connect with the customer.
Points to observe – Leading without authority, moving from doer to enabler, establishing a strong footprint.
b)They speak less
In my training sessions, I often ask participants to explain their idea in three minutes, then in one minute, then in one sentence. Most people find the one-sentence version is the one that actually persuades. When we start ‘describing’, ‘justifying’, ‘elaborating’, it results in reactions like ‘confused’, ‘lost interest’, ‘ambiguity’. It’s also a common human tendency to digress from the main point.
This also does not mean that we are introverts because we speak less. Crisp, to the point communication, is more impactful. To be conscious of what is our intent. Advantage is that leaders who speak less, make good listeners.
c)Read the room, not the script
Connecting means noticing the crossed arms, the silence after a question, the colleague who has stopped taking notes. It means willing to pause and ask, "I sense some hesitation. What's on your mind?" That one question can do more than ten slides.
Why organisations should care
When leaders communicate without connecting, the cost is hidden but real: decisions that are agreed in the room and ignored outside it, change initiatives that stall, and teams that comply without committing. Many problems where execution fails, they are actually connection failures.
Try this before your next meeting
Next time before you go for a meeting, understand the reason for the meeting, your role and why specific people are in the room for the meeting. If you are the convenor of the meeting, reach 5-10 min before time. You get to assess each one as they walk-in with their body language. The participants also respond with respect when they see you before them in the meeting. Prepare yourself with a list of queries that your team might ask and give them the opportunity to ask.
As a participant, prepare yourself, based on the agenda, ensure you have your notes and if possible, keep your queries ready. This way you are more vigilant in the room.
Knowledge impresses people. Connection helps you validate your space.
Next week: "The Lost Art of Listening." Because connection begins not with speaking, but with listening.
Padmini Kashyap is an internationally certified soft skills trainer and Organisation Development consultant who works with organisations on behavioural change, leadership development, communication, and culture change. She can be reached at padminikashyap@gmail.com
